Member-only story
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how my fucking life keeps going at a rate faster than I can keep up. My birthday is in September and I can’t keep it out of my head. I feel like I need to do something, not a party, but something. Heck, maybe it is a party that I need. But, I’m missing something. Honestly, I don’t know if I’m turning 31 or 32. After my 25th birthday, everything became a blur. I feel like I’ve woken up from a dream. I actually told my sister that I feel like I’ve been asleep for a long time, and now I’m awake. Has that happened to anyone? It’s pretty creepy if you ask me, but at times hopeful.
This summer has reenergized me, given me hope for the future. At first, I was scared because I realized EVERYTHING I have done with my life. But now, I know there’s something greater. I know I can do so many things, and be happy. My goal is to be happy and stress-free no matter what. Hell, COVID sucks, but I’m determined to work on myself to be the best version I want to be. With this awakening, I feel like I can do so much. (Not just shit work I’ve been doing the past 10 years to keep my anxiety at a low, but real work). Work that will fulfill me and bring peace to my life.
For now, here are a few goals I have in mind before September:
~publish my poetry book — finally typed all my poems when I was young and naive
~Lose 10 pounds-my God, just 10 for now
~buy some roller skates and relearn how to skate-I want to feel the breeze on my face
