For all of my life, I’ve struggled with anxiety. For most of my life, I did not know what that meant, how to diagnose it, the symptoms, and especially how to cope with it. For me, growing up meant having this knot in my stomach. Feeling the pain, a minute at a time, an hour at a time, like acid running from my throat to my stomach. I had no idea. Poor thing! I grew up with it and I never knew what to call it. Until, one day I Googled-it. I found out that I had anxiety, panic and anxiety attacks. Who would have thought there was such a thing. Anyways, I searched for ways to deal with my “sad” mood, and left it at that. I ran, went to church, volunteered, worked two to three jobs at a time, overscheduled myself, learned new things, picked up hobbies, shopped, etc.
Now as an adult, I continue to have anxiety and I call it as such. I’ve learned to live with it. Everyday, driving to drop off the kids, heading to work, saying hi, going to this meeting, then the next classroom, and walking out the door. The anxiety is still there. Knocking slowly at my stomach’s door. It seems like it almost enjoys waiting for the right moment; the moment I’m calm and collected. Then, it knocks, and knocks, until I can hear it in my ears. It opens the door and stays there. Get’s itself comfortable in my stomach, all around it. Takes over my body, and it’s painful. I learned to ignore it, to think that it was so normal, like stopping for gas. My adult years have been drowned by anxiety and I have accepted it as my life.
Not anymore. Anxiety has to go. Here are the steps I took to really handle this acidic problem.
- Realize that you have anxiety.
- Say it out loud. “I have anxiety. I suffer from anxiety. This heartburn is not heartburn. It is anxiety.”
- Meditate. Think about all the times you get anxiety. Be very specific.
- Keep meditating. Think about all the thoughts that come to your mind before you get anxiety. What are they? How do they sound like?
- Find a common pattern between everything your anxiety scenarios.
- Ask yourself: What happened to me in the past (probably childhood) that I am noticing as an adult?
- Find the root of your anxiety.
- Hug it.
- Talk to the root.
- Acknowledge the root.
- Say “Hi Root. I know you are the reason I have anxiety.”
- Think the opposite of your root. Find affirmations to negate your anxiety thoughts. (still working on this myself)
Ok, so maybe these are a lot of steps to follow, but don’t give up. Try these 12 steps and see how so much weight will be lifted off your shoulders. Your anxiety and the root of your anxiety will not go away completely, but the more you find the discomfort in your life and you work through it, you will slowly find yourself being calm and collected. Then the next time, you hear that “knocking” you will open the door slowly, and hug it, and know that is part of you and who you are. Your past, childhood, and discomforts are part of your human existence. Embrace them, have tea with them, but don’t let them control your life. You are here for a reason. You belong here.
