Member-only story
So, I’ve been separated from my husband x number of years and of course being the person that I am plus the lonely evenings once in a blue moon, I start to think. I replay back some memories (the good ones, the bad ones, and the in-between ones). Over the months, I’ve learned that it’s okay to mourn the life that I had and the “idea” of the marriage I wanted so bad. After I blame myself about different things, I’ve learned to let go slowly on those ideas and heal myself into that quiet peaceful stage once again. Like I said, it gets better every day and it hurts less as the months pass by. But, then a 4th of July comes by.
We have had a roller coaster of co-parenting, and it’s been a challenge for my ex to step up on many things. However sometimes, we do an activity with the kids together. Like today. 4th of July. We went to dinner, had dessert, talked, saw the fireworks, walked around some boats, etc. You name it-the ideal co-parenting event.
As we were wrapping up the night, I started to realize how this used to happen all the time. When HE was happy (for whatever reason-job, recognition, women, attention, power), then he was the perfect husband and the perfect father. All that happiness (if that’s what it’s called for him) and joy and energy would make him seem perfect. He would make us laugh, tell stories, teach us new things, paid attention to detail, make us feel safe, and all the other things that makes fathers and husbands great. During these instances, it was easy to forget the pain. It was easy to forget the fight, the…
